Hi Brenden!

Hi Brenden!

So, I hear you made Oogie into a gay boy on the SIMS. Good for you. When I talked to Cindy on the phone it was really funny... she says, "Brenden was at my house... alone... having gay sex on SIMS... should I be worried?" ROFL

I told her not to worry.

I would now like to talk about the scary people that I work with. It's a strange environment actually. Half of the people are super nice. The other have are plain scary.

For Example: (names have been changed to protect the innocent, namely ME) Lady 1 is super nice. Sometimes I ride home with her. I love the way she drive and tells a long story at the same time. She doesn't drive really wild or fast. Just all chill and mellow.

Then there is Lady 2... who loves to say, "Ok!" its great. Shes so funny. Espically when she starts talking about men she doesn't like.

Lady 3 is like a walking tank and everytime I talk to her I feel like she would rather slap me or throw a brick at me. I dont know why...

and last, we have Man 1. He never smiles. And if he does smile, its creepy. He always glowers at me dubiously like a monster from EverQuest I dont have enough faction with, and never will.

It put a beautiful plant and a painting in my cubicle today!!

Take care Brenden... and Brenden.. your 18 now... better watch out for my SIM!! MUA HA HA HA!!

bah, im not going to spell check this.. publish away!!!!

Brenden

Since Brenden is the only person who actually reads my blog, this post is JUST for him!!

Well, yes I am in San Francisco now. Actually Oakland. It's beautiful here and I really dig the weather. It likes to change a lot and it will fog or rain and then shine. I like that. It's not always super cold like it was in Ogden or Seattle.

I've only gone into the city about three times. by the city we mean "San Francisco."

I went to see my friend Jay. It was a lot of fun. He lives in an area of San Francisco called "The Mission." It's like hell. There are all these social rules and regulations that govern how you should act and where you should walk in the mission in order to avoid getting killed my gang member or shot in the "cross fire".

Jay's boyfriend is a man named Jerardo. I'm sure I have that spelling wrong. He has lots of rules for living in the city too. I don't like having social rules that govern my every day breath I take like some area wide social anxiety disorder. I dont think I'll be actually living inside San Francisco anytime soon, or if I do, I wont be anywhere near the "mission."

I use a train called tha BART to get around if I have to go into the city. It stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit. I find it fun actually. I'm sure it'll become annoying once I get used to it and I'll wish I just had a car, but for now it works for me. When you are in the car you have to cross a lot of bridges and there are a LOT of toll roads around here. That is something I never really encountered living anywhere else. It costs $5.00 just to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. the Golden Gate is the most famous bridge and usually a symbol of San Francisco. I dont think I'll ever go over it actually LOL. Not because of the price, just because I really have no need to go that way.

The apartment we live in is tiny, and we dont have high speed internet access. I can deal with that though. We dont get into each others way .. not yet at least. It's different living with people who tolerate gayness, it's a whole other to live with people who celebrate gayness. It's great for me to sit on my computer and download gay pron and know that no one will freak out or even give me a second glance when they walk in to me saving images of hot horney guys being hot and horney with each other.

Libby's girlfriend is named Eddie. She is going for gender neutrality, a very interesting aspect of gayness. She is born under the Star Sign Cancer and I must admit that I LOVE being around that intense water sign energy again. Libby is Star Sign Taurus and as we all know Taurus' are superstars!!! It's great being around Libby again.

I'll enjoy seeing Jay once in a while too. He is a touch paranoid and his boyfriend is a freak. I love them both though.

I haven't started Massage Therapy yet, so in the mean time I am working with Libby at MHN. It's Managed Health Net and we talk to crazy people who need referals to doctors so they can become sane again. Its a lot of fun and the call center is awesome. It's like 50 billion times better than AOHELL!! My boss is HOT str8 guy. I have been lucky is getting nice hot str8 bosses lately!!

Jay and Jerado took me to a street festival in San Francisco called "Weird". It was weird. People dress up in crasy costumes and dance to DJ's in the streets who are playing awesome music. They have booths set up selling clothes and what nots. Jerardo dressed me in a beautiful hindu goddess shirt, a black dress, fairy wings and a pointed asian bamboo hat. Next year I'm going to go in a star trek uniform.

Well, thats all I can think of for now. Take care and wish everyone there my love!

Im not gonna spell check this.

American English?

Found this on my friend Jay's blog. Quite interesting.

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

15% Yankee

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Ultima

http://artpad.art.com/?ied0aa14oirg

From Russia with Love

I LOVE out of the blue stuff... Well as long as they are good. I love getting personal email from people I dont know. It doesn't happen very often, but once in a great while it does.
One such thing happened today: I got a sweet letter from a man who is from Russia. I dont know if he is in Russia right now, or if he is a Russian in America. His email address was at .ru and when I looked it up on the internet it was Russian.
He saw my profile on gay.com and decided to write me.
It really made my day. Do I sound desperate? Well I should because I AM god damnit!! Oh I need to write Jay ! I have a few .. um questions that I am sure he will be able to answer!

San Francisco

Someone told me that Curage is one step ahead of Fear.

That single sentace is keeping me going for my epic move to San Francisco. I am throwing away a lot of my old life and just moving clothes and my massage table.

I am really scared because I ~know~ that for me to stay in San Francisco and be happy that it will require a complete transformation on my part. Things will never be the same after this, and if I try to keep them the same I will fail.

The transformation scares me tho. (I hate the word "though", too many fucking letters take THAT you god damned spell check).

What if the transformation leads to my death? Ok, well then thats fine. If you want to cross the bridge my sweet you've got to pay the toll, take a gulp take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll!!!

Why?

This kinda freaks me out once in a while.

Sometimes, something will happen, usually when I'm looking in the mirror...

But tonight, I was just walking through the rain.

Then I start to ask myself, "Why am I me?"

It's creepy.

"Why am I me? Why do I experience these things that I do. Why am I seeing the world though these eyes? Why do I have the body that I have, and not something else? Why do I feel the things that I feel?"

It really trips me out. It is a strange feeling and I don't know why it's strange. Also I wonder why I feel so sad when I get in this mode of thinking? I do. When I look at myself this way I get an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneness, and I don't know why.

Everything Will Be Alright

(Tell me what happens)
(When you stop being lonely)
(Do you find yourself forgetting all the good times)

/He still loves him, doesn't he?/
=Of course he does! I think he always will....=
/We have to do something about that!/
=I have an idea...=

(I'll tell you what happened)
(when I stopped being lonely)
(I realized I could keep you here inside)

=He has changed so much since then, that when he looks back
he doesn't' see the same person...=
/Ok..../
=But when he looks back at him, he still sees the the same, young, unchanged version=

(When I forget to believe)
(You show me)
(If I close my eyes I can still see you right here by my side)
(Hold me tight)
(Whisper in my ear everything will be alright)

/Then.... we have to show him! Break down the illusion!/
=Maybe not, maybe what we have to do is replace the illusion=
/Replace the illusion? We can do that?/
=Why not? Ever heard of hormone replacement therapy? This will be Memory Replacement Therapy!=